Time blurs

Yikes. So it's been nearly a week since I last posted. Some highlights of the days since then:

Scissor Sisters concert. Oh. My. God. They are incredible. Think Elton John, the Bee Gees, disco and electronica, and a whole lotta attitude mixed together. Add that they put on a great show. I'm glad my friend took me along, as I hadn't heard of them until he mentioned it.

Cuban salsa. Another friend and I went to a new club that had a band playing Cuban salsa music. Cuban salsa music is my favorite style of salsa music. Some of it is just a bit slower tempo, and it's so, so very much sexier. Mmmmm. Alas, there weren't that many leads (or follows) at the club that actually knew how to salsa, so we went to another club. Before we left, though, I did get a dance in with a lovely fellow that I asked out several months ago (he had a girlfriend. Alas.). I haven't seen him in 5-6 months, and he said he hasn't been taking classes in that time, nor has he been dancing. Shame on him. It was lovely to dance with him again, though. Mmmmm.

TV. Oh wait, that's a lowlight. Erk.

My going away party. Ah yes, this was a lot of fun. A number of people showed up, and a number of people didn't. Unfortunately, several people I know were out of town last weekend. However, when you organize a party and invite 30-some people, this is inevitable. On the very plus side, a friend I haven't seen in about a year made it, and we're also going for lunch this week. I drank a great deal of wine (at least, by my standards, as I don't drink very much), and miraculously, remained standing all evening. Add that to a lack of hangover this morning, and that makes the party just that much better. My roommate did an incredible job of providing a wealth of delicious nibbles and took care of the tidying up. This was her going away gift for me, and I love her even more for it. And the cats love the Boar's Head turkey, and love us even more for sharing it with them.

Just under two weeks to go. Most of the items on my pre-trip to do list are completed. I just need to do a trial packing, decide if I'm taking my laptop, and then handle some banking and voting needs.

Two weeks from Wednesday will find me in sunny Argentina. I hatched this idea of a year off about 18 months ago. The original idea was to hitchhike on sailboats. My sailing education is pretty limited, and this idea was pushed to the side. I'd still like to do some sailing, though, and I will pursue that as a sideline. I truly love sailing and it feels like a very natural thing for me -- sort of like when you meet someone, realize they complement you as well as is possible, and then start falling in love because being together feels so perfect and natural.

Thanks to Rachel for mentioning my blog in her blog, and for linking to me!

Motivation strikes

Whew. After a couple weeks of no motivation, I finally have some. Maybe this means I'm finally starting to feel rested? I'm antsy to get out of the house today, which is quite a change. I don't feel like marauding for several hours, but I do have some errands to run and now look forward to going out. Must be the position of the moon or stars, as I don't know how to explain it otherwise.

Only 18 days until I leave.

The management of laziness

Oh, how does one manage laziness? Here it is, just after 5pm and my hair is wet from my recent shower.

Q: I've been up for hours, and what have I managed to do?
A: Email, read, watch Heavenly Creatures, pet the cats, take a shower

Yes, I have my tango class this evening, but the rain finally stopped here and I'm not out enjoying the clear Autumn weather.

It's as if I only manage a single item from my pre-trip to-do list each week. Ack. My final week in Seattle will likely be maddeningly frantic.

Today is the seven-year anniversary of my father's death. Several moments of silence:










I miss my father each day. I wish I could share my plans with him, and have him tell me about Brazil during WWII. I know he would do a bit to try and talk me out of my trip, like he did the first time I went overseas. He would tell me to use my money for grad school, buy a home. My wanderlust was a legacy I inherited from my father. I still wish he was here to share this with. Now and then, I wake up in the middle of the night, worrying about something vexing, and reach for my phone. I used to call him at all hours of the day to talk, and he was usually awake. Now, I become sad when I start to reach for the phone and then it hits me he's still gone. I usually enjoy the sleepdrunk stage of going to sleep or waking up, but this reaching for the phone bit and realizing I can't make the call always makes me sad.

The management of fear, part 2

I bought my ticket to Florida and my ticket to Argentina on Monday. The fear has abated. Or, it at least has gone in to hiding until the first week of October.

Today was a fearless day.

Rant #1. aka tacky things to ask

So. An increasingly common question I hear from people I meet, after they hear about my trip (I'm now frequently introduced with the qualifier that I'm leaving the country), is either "how much does this trip cost", "wow, you must have some money" or "how can you afford this?"

Answers:

1. None of your business (although, I give a very vague, generally uninformitive answer to those who press me)
2. Duh
3. see #1, minus the vague, uninformative answer

[Note: while it would be totally possible for me to do this trip entirely on one of my two credit cards, because they both have given me obscene credit lines, I am not stupid. I may act foolishly now and then, and have moments of blonde-ness and create stupid metaphors referencing an army and macaroni. Still, I am an intelligent woman and have no desire to witness a four- or five-digit credit card bill.]

If I were to announce I was buying a co-op or a house, would these people still ask these questions? The answer, I fear, is yes.

These questions are related to my time at my 5.5 year job. Amazon.com. OK, before you get all excited and insist I buy the next round of drinks: Do The Math. I started in January, 99, and was not hired permanently until April, 99. Think back. I know it's hard. Early 99 was that time also known as Yon When the Internet Bubble Burst/Popped/Exploded/Crashed/Went Kerplooey/Bombed/[fill in the blank]. Yes, some of my trip is funded by stock options. However, I am not rolling in cash, nor am I one of the early employees that are permanently living a life of leisure. Unless something remarkable happens, I will be applying for jobs in about a year. Yes, people I worked with bought houses at 25, sailboats, moved to Bali, or taken elaborate and very long vacations. For the record: I am not one of them. There is other money involved in the financing of my trip and I have a pretty strict budget -- if I go through the money on schedule, I travel a year; go through the money too quickly, destinations and length are cut; go through the money slower than expected (pleasepleaseplease), I travel longer and further.

No, you still cannot ask the above questions. I've only honestly answered those questions to maybe 2 of my closest friends.

The management of fear

Nearly every morning in the past several days, I wake up and feel a great deal of trepidation and fear about my trip. I'm excited about the trip, but it still scares me a great deal. I've always said it was a healthy type of scared, but now it is feel more like a certain level of terror. Understandable, being that I will be embarking on a year without friends or family close by, and will be going to countries where I do not speak the language and am totally unfamiliar with. Yes, the unknown is quite exciting to me, but still is very daunting.

How have I dealt with this? By not dealing with it this week. I've taken care of a couple minor items on my to do list, but still haven't bought my tickets to get me to Argentina. However, my roommate is back on Monday and I plan to get my butt in gear next week. I need to figure out how I will be voting (research shows absentee voting, but I do not know what my address will be, so...more research is needed). As my state is one of the 'swing' states, voting is a priority to me. If the election doesn't go the way I'd like, I joke that I won't return until that person is not in office. This is only a partial joke. I will teach English, or find some other job (whether legal or under the table) so that I can live elsewhere. Or perhaps I sell a book or two at the end of my year and can live off those proceeds. Or perhaps I meet and become entangled with a wealthy[enough] man, and he enables a continued Life of Leisure for me. Or perhaps I go opal hunting in Australia and find a bunch of lovely, large stones. Or perhaps I start painting again and sell those. Or perhaps my photography becomes the quality for me to sell it to those who buy travel photography. Or perhaps I hook up with an established writer/artist and work as their assistant. Or perhaps, well, you get the idea. There are options for financing a living while living abroad.

Another aspect of the fear is twofold:

1. I plan on flying from Miami to Argentina. This has not been a good few weeks for Florida, and I wonder how Florida will be in a few more weeks.
2. The news folks and the political folks talk about the possibility of a terrorist attack before the elections. After what happened in Spain, this seems a possibility. I'm not incredibly worried about this, but it is in my mind and makes me hesitant to fly in October.

Really though, I haven't been able to fully come to grips with my fears, so I have just been going about relaxing. Each day that passes, my muscles relax a little more and I feel a bit calmer. The 1-2 people I'd really like to discuss this with aren't available right now, so I've been going this alone until then. In my view, it's much better to discuss this with someone who's gone through this. "It'll be fine" or "It's only for a year" just isn't helping, which is what I've heard from a couple friends (who haven't travelled or lived abroad for an extended time), when I've mentioned this in passing to them.

And now, 51 weeks of leisure to go

Finally made it out of the house, on more than a food run, last evening. Went to a party with the people I temped with and for over the last two months. I was meant to go to a friend's birthday drinks event afterwards, but after drinking a particularly lovely, but lethal, margarita at the party (more tequila than I realized), I never made it to the birthday celebration. Sorry Jim! I'm a lightweight when it comes to alcohol - especially liquor.

So, a friend calls me on Saturday morning and asks me what I'm up to: "Umm, browsing the internet and watching the cats chase each other around the house." Last week, I was able to keep the kite flying for about three seconds, yesterday, I was able to keep it flying for 1-2 minutes. All it took was a lighter touch to keep control. It was a lot of fun.

I watched an insane amount of CSI this week. Things I learned:
1. If you kill someone and get blood on your clothes: burn them. Or at the very least, clean them and give them to a charity.
2. Bleach is an effective clean-up cleaner.
3. If you kill someone with your car, take it to the car wash.
4. Do not wear leather-lined gloves. Fingerprints.
5. Do not take a souvenir.

And so it begins

I am currently on Day Two of the Year of the Life of Leisure. I have never been without a paying job for longer than two months, except for when I was in college -- which is a job in itself. So here I am, about to embark on a worldwide trip. Within a month, I will be leaving for Argentina. Then, destinations include New Zealand, Australia, Thailand, India and several countries in Europe. I'd also like to go to South Africa, but it's an expensive leg of the journey, and I have reservations about safety there (from information I read on a government site), as I will be travelling alone.

Why am I taking this trip? Because I can. No pets, no plants, no boyfriend -- why not? Sure, I could lay down this cash for a condo or a house, but when I weighed home-ownership vs a year of travelling and adventure, well, it's obvious which one won. I've wanted to travel like this for-justabout-ever, and some fortuitous financial events occured, so here I am. I left my job of 5.5 years, left my apartment of 3 years, dispersed about 85-90% my belongings largely to Goodwill, buyers off craigslist and friends, and am currently living out of a suitcase and a couple boxes at a friend's house. It was very liberating to rid myself of so many things, and made me realize that I really *need* very little to survive.

It goes without saying that I am scared about this trip. Yes, I intend to come back (though, not necessarily to Seattle). Yes, I know this is only for a year (though, that year seems like a mighty long time right now). I'm giving up a lot of stability and heading off on what will be an amazing adventure. I'm very excited, but can't help being a little scared, too. Although, I figure once I'm past any jetlag, and have about three days of Argentina, I will be fine and only scared if I find myself at knife point, or led into a complicated an unknown tango move.

It's odd to not work and to know that I can go for a year or so without working. Gainful unemployment is a wholly new experience for me.

My First Official Day of Leisure included listing some books on ebay and A Lot of CSI. The Spike channel is doing a CSI marathon, and I'm quite taken with the show. Then again, I haven't actively watched tv in most of two years, so it's a bit of a field day to find a show that I actually enjoy. I'm also a bit more lazier than normal this week, as it's been nearly a year since I went on a vacation, and I really need some quiet downtime. My roommate is currently in Italy for a week, so it's just me and the cats, and it's luxuriously quiet when I want it to be, and luxuriously lazy.